Do other people affect how you feel?
Are you happy or sad when you think about them?
I'm curious. What makes you feel this way about them?
"Hey, here's a tin of sadness," do they say?
Or maybe they say, "Oh, you need a bucket of joy. Wait, I have one here that you can have."
Can you buy happiness or sadness in a ready-made package at the grocery store?
Some of you who like to shop would say that you can, but I don't think you can.
People are often the ones who "make" us feel a certain way. We need them to do, say, or be something for us to feel happy. We get upset, sad, and hurt if they don't do what we want them to.
In short, we often try to control other people to control how we feel, or how our emotions make us feel.
And when we do this, we set ourselves up to fail because we can't control anyone else. We can't make anyone do anything, and we can't just assume that they will.
We only have power over one person: ourselves.
We don't feel certain things because of other people. We decide to have them. We decide how we're going to act. We guess what people mean by what they say. We are quick to judge.
No one can put happiness or sadness in a tin or a bucket for you. These are not things that can be moved from one person to another. They are things that can only be found in ourselves.
I was just at a wedding the other day. I told one of my friends that she looked great and that I liked the way she was dressed. She immediately thought I was being sarcastic and took offence at what was actually a compliment.
Even if I had been joking, she could have taken it as a compliment and said, "I'm glad you like it." She would have felt better about herself.
I knew this guy when I was younger. He was short, balding, and had spots. He didn't have much going for him in terms of looks. But when we went out to bars, he would walk up to any pretty woman and start talking to her. If she said no, he would just shrug his shoulders and keep going.
I don't think it ever crossed his mind that he should feel bad about being turned down. He'd just smile, say, "Your loss," and move on to the next one.
Even if you don't believe it, each of you is in charge of how you feel and how you act. You can decide how you want to feel. You could feel happy right now, or I'm sure you could choose to feel sad. You could change how you feel just by thinking about it.
Isn't it almost like magic?
So, what about deciding how you want to feel when you're with other people?
Most people just let things happen on their own. They let their body and mind pretty much do what they want, and they don't worry too much about what programmes are running or how it is. It doesn't bother them too much, so they let it go about its business.
It's like watching all the cars in a city drive around without knowing that someone is controlling them from inside.
Most people have forgotten that they are controlled by this "person" inside of them.
If you want to, you can stop depending on other people to meet certain conditions and take back control of how you feel.
When you go to work and someone says "Good morning," you can grumble and say, "There's nothing good about it." Or, you can be nice and say, "It's a great morning."
In other words, you can choose to feel bad or good.
Which one do you like best?
Realize that the only person who can make you feel something is yourself, and stop letting other people make you feel bad. Choose to feel good and have fun.
Say "It's their loss" or something similar if someone says no or rejects you.
If someone insults you by saying something like "Poor thing, you must be confused" or something similar.
Decide to stop letting your life run on auto-pilot and to take back control of yourself. Don't let other people tell you how you should feel. Instead, decide for yourself.
