You love each other, but you can't talk to each other without arguing, fighting, and getting tired. Then, each of you goes to your own corner, licking your wounds and trying to figure out how to protect yourself from a new attack. And yet... you still love each other? How could this be? Why do people hurt the people they care about most?
Why can't we show how much we love each other? Why do we have good intentions, but when it comes down to it, we end up yelling and blaming the other person? Then, out of nowhere, that monster of guilt jumps up to our throats and tries to strangle us again.
What to do about this hellish behaviour?
Let me first tell you why this happens.
Everyone needs power. For us to live and stay alive, we need energy. Love, attention, interest, food, friendship, money, approval, recognition, etc. are all forms of energy.
We all need this to feel good, build our personalities, and find our place in society.
But here's the thing: as long as we think this energy has to come from other people, we will fight. Because people only have so much energy. We have to work hard to get it. Human energy doesn't last. We don't have enough of it. So we have to be the fastest, smartest, and most attractive one to get the other person's attention and get his energy.
If that doesn't work, we'll try something else. We try to get people's attention by being bad. Every young child learns this very quickly: when he is playing quietly on the floor with his toys, mom keeps making dinner or talking with dad. But as soon as the child hurts his little sister or acts like he is sick, the moms rush to help him. She yells because she might be angry or worried, but it doesn't matter, because the child just wants her attention. He quickly figures out which actions get him the most attention and energy. Even when his mom or dad look at him with anger, it still gives him energy. When they yell at him, it gives him more strength. Even if it is bad energy, it is better than no energy at all.
When we get older and start dating, we notice something very interesting: when we fall in love, we get a lot of energy (read: interest, time, love, etc.) for free. The other person gives us a lot of energy for free and in large amounts. We don't even have to ask for it or come up with a plan to get it, because it's all free. We let go of our way of pulling other people's energy toward us. We loosen up. We "succumb" to love. We're almost in the air. We're on top! Everything seems brighter and more colourful, and we feel lighter. Life seems easy, and everything just seems to work out on its own. We feel like we love everyone and everything, even our boss, who is grumpy. We feel safe and strong, like nothing can hurt us. But this is what he or she has to offer! We are flying on the energy of someone else, and there is only so much energy in a person.
And that's exactly what's wrong! This flow of free energy starts to slow down because the other person goes back to his old job and activities. Why? People say that the body can't handle this much adrenaline for a long time, but the real reason is that we need to learn to get our energy from somewhere else, not from a person but from the energy source itself.
So now our lover gives us less free energy than before. We were used to this flow of energy, but now we have to do it again on our own. It is so much easier to use free energy. We don't even have to try to get it! And now we are getting less of this free energy, we don't want to let this happen. When we don't have enough energy, our old childhood system for getting energy from others kicks in. This happens because we have an alarm inside us that says, "Danger! Not enough energy!" The old system for getting energy from others starts running in our heads and in the way we act. When we were kids, we got energy from our parents. Now, when we don't have enough energy, the same thing will happen. We do the things we did as kids to get our energy going.
We can do this by putting ourselves in the wrong "Oh, I'm so sad! Look at all I do, and nobody thanks me! Even though I'm a good person, life keeps hitting me with disapproval, illness, and pain. Oh oh oh! "). Or we get people's attention by being aggressive, shouting, and trying to get the upper hand on the other person. A third way is to bother and control the other person by asking too many questions. A fourth system is to be silent, to refuse contact, to not speak or react, so that the other person will do everything he can to get in touch with you again, which will give you his energy.
Both of these systems will send you the energy of the other one. But then what? The other is now running out of energy and wants to get it back. So now, his mechanism is set off by how tired he is. Now, he will use the system that made sure his parents would give him energy when he was young to get his energy back from you. He will either yell at you, act like the poor one who didn't deserve what you did, ask you a lot of questions, or refuse to talk to you.
This is why we hurt the people we care about. First, we want their energy, which they used to give us for free. We hurt our loved ones the most because, in the beginning, they gave us love, energy, and attention for free. Now that we have to do it on our own, we are angry and want to get back at them. We think we should be able to use their energy for free, so we set up a way to get it. The second reason we hurt them most is because it's easy. They are always around, and their energy is always available, so when we need energy, we try to take it from them, which hurts them.
When you take someone else's energy, you hurt him.
How can we deal with this? We shouldn't talk to other people unless we have plenty of energy ourselves, so we don't steal theirs. When we are full of energy and aware of what is going on between us and other people, we can give that energy to the other person instead of taking it from him. When we are tired, we shouldn't get together. Each person is responsible for making his or her own energy and not relying on other people.
What should I do? By getting in touch with the energy that is always there. That is how the Universe works. The easiest way to get in touch with this energy is to think about how beautiful a flower is. You can also think about how beautiful something or someone is. You can do anything that gives you energy, like listen to beautiful music, go for a walk in nature, meditate, pray, dance, paint, read positive texts, work on your mission on earth, love your cat or dog, etc.
Make a list of all the things you do and activities you do that give you more energy. If you feel like you're in a fight with your partner, boss, child, parent, or anyone else, do something to calm down and get your energy back up. Don't talk until your energy level is high enough again for you to send energy to the other person. By sending energy, you are sure not to take energy from the other player. This is a loving thing to do. If you can't raise your energy, go somewhere else, do something for yourself, and wait until your vibrations are high enough to meet the other person again.
In a relationship, the most important thing is not to make the other person happy or to expect the other person to make you happy. Instead, the most important thing is to make yourself happy and give this happiness to the other person as a free gift!
When you love another person, you give him energy.
See what I mean? Do you want to love the people you care about, or do you want to drain them?
