The children know what they want
When I was young, it was simple. I'd get a cup of hot cocoa, a few cookies, and a piece of paper to sit down and write my letter to Santa. I'd tell him every Christmas wish I had. It wasn't hard for me to figure out what I wanted. I didn't worry about whether I thought I could get it, how much it would cost, or what other people would think. I asked for what I wanted because I knew what it was.
Between when I was a child and when I was an adult, I became much less clear. What I really wanted got lost in "shoulds," obligations, other people's opinions, and my own judgments.
Most of us seem to experience this. We stop thinking about what we really want. How can we make what we want if we don't even know what we want? If you want more pleasure, passion, and meaning in your work and life, it helps to know what you want.
What if you don't know, though? What if you don't know what you want, you're stuck, or you're not sure?
What About Santa Claus?
"If I were Santa Claus and could bring you anything you wanted, what would it be?"
This is one of my favourite questions because it helps me and my clients get in touch with what we really want.
Here's what I mean: I was working with Janet (I've changed her name to protect her privacy), and she wanted to make a new information product for her clients. She had thought and thought, but none of the ideas she had excited her. She couldn't move.
I asked her to take a few minutes to play in the field of all possibilities. I asked her to forget everything she had been thinking and everything she "knew" about what was possible and what wasn't. She said yes.
Then I asked, "If I were Santa Claus and could bring you anything you wanted, what information product would you love to offer your customers?" In an instant, she knew! Her idea gave her energy right away. It was exactly what her clients needed. Plus, she had already written most of it, making it easy for her to make.
Even though she had tried hard, she had never thought of this idea until that very moment. She got a different answer when she stopped, thought about a different question, and was open to a wider range of possibilities. With that answer, she knew exactly what she wanted and had the power to make it happen. After that, it was easy. In just a few days, she had the new product ready for her customers to buy.
On Your Own
Here is how you can use the Santa Claus question to find out what you really want.
- Choose an area where you're not sure what you want or where you're stuck.
Examples:
- What you do at work
- A work project
- Come up with a deal with yourself. For a short time, you'll forget what you "know" is possible or not. You'll think about WHAT you want instead of WHETHER or HOW it might happen.
- Having a party for your birthday
- Making over your room
Remember that you don't have to do anything based on what you find out. You're just learning more about what you want. Try this out and see what comes of it.
- Ask yourself, "Who is Santa Claus?" If Santa doesn't work for you, change the question to "If I could wave a magic wand..." or "If I were a genie who gave you unlimited wishes..."
Examples:
What would I ask Santa Claus for if I could have anything I wanted for this project I'm working on? What would I ask for at work if a genie showed up and told me I could have as many wishes as I wanted?
- If I could wave a magic wand and get anything I wanted, how would my bedroom look and feel?
- If Santa Claus could give me anything I wanted for my birthday, what would I ask for?
Be bold, crazy, and crazy about what you want. Once my clients get started, they usually have a lot of fun making their lists for Santa.
Write down as many questions and answers as you can think of. You can always add to the list when you look at it again. You can also come back to the list later to see which ideas are worth looking into and following up on.
So What?
What happens next can be very different.
Sometimes, like Janet in the example above, you know what you want right away and can start making it happen.
Other times, something amazing and out of the blue happens to you. Like the woman I know who made it clear that she wanted to put her music on a CD. She didn't know how she would pay for the recording session, though. A few weeks later, she got a check in the mail that was almost the exact amount she needed. It was a gift from her grandmother that she hadn't expected.
Sometimes, getting what you want may take more time and effort on your part. Still, if you know where you want to go, you're a BIG step closer to getting there.
So, ask yourself the "Santa Claus question" often to get clearer, more energised, and more likely to get what you really want in life.
Enjoy!
