Flowers have been an important part of funerals in almost every culture throughout history, and that is still true today. At funerals, wakes, memorials, and cremation services, flowers and plants are a thoughtful way to honour the life of the deceased, show the grieving family that you care, and add a touch of natural beauty to an otherwise sad setting. Family and friends often talk about the beauty, colour, and smell of sympathy flowers, which helps to start conversations and ease the sadness. A lot of flowers or a particularly beautiful floral tribute may be one of the most uplifting ways to show support long after the funeral. Flowers, gift baskets, and other messages sent to the home are also important in the weeks that follow as family members deal with their grief. If you want to show sympathy to someone but aren't sure what kind of flowers or other gifts would be best, here are some ideas from experts to help.
How to Show You Care
The most important thing is to show that you care about the person who died, their family, and the other people who will be there. Flowers are an important part because they show respect and honour for the person who has died. Think about the person's life when you're trying to decide what kind of flowers to send. Bright flowers might be the best way to describe a successful life and show how happy your best memories make you. Pale pastels are good for a soft, girly look, while autumn colours are more masculine. White flowers are a sign of peace, grace, and purity. Roses, especially red ones, show that you love someone forever.
Making It Personal
If you want to make the memorial even more special, your local florist can help. You could include a picture of the family, a favourite flower, or a personal item. If you know someone who likes to garden, you could get them a basket of garden-fresh flowers that look like they were just picked. For a religious person, you might want to give them a cross, a Madonna, or some other icon. Funeral flowers can be made in all sorts of shapes and sizes, from insignias and sports items to more traditional wreaths and sprays. Flowers are nice, but they aren't the only way to show someone you care. There are also other things that are important. Dinner for the family can be so helpful, especially if there are young children or older people in the family. You could also send a thoughtful letter, go on a casual outing, or give money to a favourite charity. The thoughtfulness of your sympathy flowers will be complemented by these extra acts of kindness, which will add a personal touch that will be very much appreciated.
How to Know How Much to Spend
The price of funerals is going up steadily. There are flowers for almost every budget, which is good news. You can say a lot with something as simple as a single perfect rose, as cheaply as a modest mixed arrangement, or as strikingly as a grand standing spray of elegant roses and lilies. Fresh flower arrangements in vases and sympathy designs in the shape of a fan are usually the best gifts to bring to a funeral home or memorial service. This is because they have the most impact on the money. There are many different sizes and prices of sympathy flowers. The choice is up to you, but keep in mind that there may be other flower arrangements nearby. So, you shouldn't skimp on the size. Plan on spending between $50 and $70 on a nice table arrangement, with fancier styles costing $75 and up. Most large standing pieces cost between $100 and $150. Flowers and plants are both popular home gifts, with prices usually between $35 and $60.
What about the phrase "in place of flowers"?
At the suggestion of well-meaning friends or advisors, families sometimes put a phrase like "Instead of flowers, donations can be sent to..." in the obituary. Of course, most families really do appreciate all the personal ways people show they care, and they may later wish there had been more flowers at the funeral. For many, "In addition to flowers..." or "Donations are appreciated too..." might be a better way to say it. Use your best judgement, but keep in mind that the phrase "in lieu of" is usually used to encourage charitable donations, not to stop people from saying other things. Along with a donation to charity, tasteful flowers are almost always a good idea.
I didn't find out until the funeral was over!
You can still show your love and respect even if you didn't know about the funeral until after it was over. Even after the funeral, the family still needs your thoughts, prayers, and personal words. Flowers and other small acts are a kind and appropriate way to show that you care and that you are not alone. After all, helping the people they left behind is one of the best ways to remember those who have died.
Is there anything else I can do to help?
The best thing you can do is show your family that you care about them. Help with meals, watch the kids, bring a gift or card, or just give them a call. Everyone reacts to lose in their own way, but reaching out helps people remember that they are not alone. Your care may help them forget about their sadness, making it easier for them to get back to normal. In other words, the best thing you can do to help is just there.
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