What a gift you will give yourself and everyone around you if you are committed and willing to go to extremes to take care of yourself during a divorce. A divorce is the end of a marriage, and even in the simplest, least complicated situations, things can go wrong.
This stressful situation gives you a lot of chances to see who you are. People get better when they don't blame the things that happen to them but instead give thanks for the chance to grow. I know it's hard to believe this when you're going through a divorce, but I want you to trust that it's probably true for you.
During my second divorce, I used the time to really pay attention to how I felt. Even when I was in a lot of pain, I tried to catch glimpses of clarity, wisdom, and understanding about my role in the story. It takes two to tango, so you can only benefit from learning more about yourself, seeing where you need to strengthen your foundation, and taking steps so that your next relationship will be fulfilling in the ways you want. It's important to take very good care of yourself, especially during the divorce process, so that you can face who you are and gain perspective.
- Make a space for yourself. Find a separate place to live during your divorce proceedings if you can afford it and it won't get in the way of what the law says you have to do to get the result you want. If you don't have much money, make a separate room in the house you share and make it look nice. Buy yourself flowers for the room, new art for the walls, colourful throw pillows, and new sheets and towels.
- Eat good things. Divorce is a marathon of stress. If you want to stay healthy or get healthy, you need to go to extremes with your exercise and diet plans.
- Go outside and walk, walk, walk, run, or mosey. This will help a lot to calm your nerves, which are likely to be all over the place.
- Bitch, moan, pull out your hair, cry, wail, take a breath, and then repeat as often as you need to until you're sick of hearing yourself talk about your breakup and why you're right and your soon-to-be-ex is wrong.
- Get a new job or a new hobby. You will meet new people, use your imagination, and find a new way to express yourself.
- Know that this will come to an end and a new one will start. Get ready to forgive yourself and your new ex, and be ready to move on.
- Think about your friendships and make any changes you think are needed. Sometimes you need to make new friends and let go of old ones with a lot of bad history that can't be fixed.
- Think about your next date and relationship during the day. To be ready for a new and better relationship, you need to know what you want and recognise the parts of yourself that need healing and care.
- Hire a lawyer who comes highly recommended. Expect the process to take longer than you thought it would. Save your energy. You probably won't be able to speed things up.
- Know that this could be a chance for you to grow and learn from it. Be kind to yourself and be willing to make changes in your life and how you see things. Prepare for the adventure of finding out who you are.
