Top 6 Things Not to Do With Angry Customers

When you have to deal with difficult customers, try to avoid these common mistakes.

1. Don't argue. You can never win a fight with a customer. Trust me on this. You can definitely make your case and even have the last word, Dale Carnegie once said, "You may be right, but you probably won't change your customer's mind even if you're right." He was talking about how pointless it is to argue with other people. When a customer complains, your goal is not to be right, but to keep the customer. Even if you win an argument, you might have lost the customer. Carnegie tells us to think carefully about some tough questions before we go to war with customers: "Will my response help solve the problem, or will it just make me feel better? Will my response push my customer away even more? What will I have to give up if I win?" Carnegie says, "The only way to win an argument is to not get into one." By the way, if a customer gets into an argument with you, they will tell 50 other people how bad you are.
2. Don't just end the call. I know I sound like a traditionalist, but I'm not going to change my mind. Do you think it helps or hurts the situation if you hang up on a customer who is already very angry? The customer's problem is still there, and most won't give up just because you hit the flash button. Most people will call back, and what? They will be even angrier, and it will take a lot more time and money to fix the problem. If you can't deal with the customer, offer to give them to your boss or a coworker.
3. Don't raise your voice. I don't yell, "Lauren, USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!" when I want my 5-year-old daughter to use her "inside voice." When I use my "inside voice," I expect her to imitate the calm tone of my voice, which she does on her own without my help. We have to use the same method with customers who are hard to please. If a customer is upset, raising your voice will not make them feel better. It will only make the customer angry. When you lower your voice, you come across as confident, in charge, and trustworthy. Most of the time, an angry customer will start to calm down when he realizes that yelling at him isn't working. When dealing with an angry customer, try saying one of these things quietly. What can I do to help? What can I do to make things better?
4. Don't say bad things. Have you ever said, "If you don't calm down, I won't help you," or something similar? Or, "If you keep yelling at me, I'll have no choice but to end this phone call." If you've ever said these or similar things, I'd bet that the only reason you did so was to take control of the conversation. But the problem is that your customer sees this kind of language as threatening, and it doesn't make them back down or calm them down. Try saying something like, "I really want to help you, but the way you talk is making it very hard for me to do so." Then pause for two or three seconds to let the customer think about what you said.
5. Don't tell a customer she's making a mistake. Never tell a customer he or she is wrong or making a mistake. When you tell someone they are wrong, they will become angry and want to fight with you. Have you ever told your partner they were wrong? Even under the best of circumstances, it's hard to change people's minds. So why start off on the wrong foot and make things harder? If you know your customer is wrong, it's best to start by saying, "I thought the contract said something else, but let's take a look."
6. Don't make the customer feel like they can't help. Every time I hear a worker say, "This is all I can do," I cringe. When customers feel like they have no choice, some of them will do anything they think is necessary to get their needs met. This is when you do things like yell, ask to talk to a manager, or start a blog about your company. "Mr. Bryant, what I can do is," is a simple phrase that completely changes the mood of a tough situation.

Keep these six "don'ts" in mind the next time an angry customer starts to verbally abuse you, and you'll be well on your way to getting the angry customer to back down and get back in charge of the conversation.