If your child is picky about what they eat, mealtimes can make you want to pull out your hair. Parents get very upset when their kids only play with their food at dinner or don't even eat it because they "don't like it." What comes next? Guess who is hungry after 30 minutes? You guessed it. Your picky little eater.
Jamie's mother was worried that Jamie didn't care about food. She told him, "Jamie will never eat what I make for dinner. What can I do to get Jamie to eat the food I've cooked for him?" Here are ten ideas I came up with for her. You might find them helpful, too.
TIP: Bring Jamie into it. You could ask Jamie to help plan the menu or cook the food. When kids help make something, they are less likely to dislike it.
TIP: SET RULES FOR JAMIE. Jamie might be more interested in playing with her food at dinner than in eating it. Mom say's, "Jamie, breakfast will be ready at 7:00 a.m. Try to eat enough to get you through until then. How much you need is up to you. Oh! In ____ minutes, we'll start to clean up."
When Jamie comes to you later that night to say he's hungry, it's late. Just remind her, in a kind way, that breakfast will be served at 7:00 a.m. as usual. Jamie is probably going to keep trying to get something else to eat. It's important to stick to the limit you set. If you don't, Jamie will learn that you don't mean what you say, and you will lose her trust. You might have to tell her more than once that "breakfast will be served at 7:00" before she understands that you're not going to give in.
Jamie: "Mom I'm hungry. I'd like some cookies, please."
Mom: "Kids who eat all of their dinner can have a snack afterward if they want to."
"But, mom, I'm really hungry," said Jamie.
Mom: "I know Jamie. If I ate as little as you did for dinner, I'd be hungry too, but don't worry, I'll make you a big breakfast at 7:00 a.m."
Jamie: "What? You want me to go hungry, right?"
Mom: "Jamie, I'll serve breakfast at 7:00."
"This isn't fair," said Jamie.
Mom: "Jamie, I'll serve breakfast at 7:00."
Jamie: "Fine!"
TIP: NOTICE THE EXCEPTIONS. Pay attention to when Jamie finishes most of her food. "Wow! You finished everything on your plate, Jamie. Good job. You should be happy with what you've done." Too often, we only notice the bad things our kids do, and that's what they do more of because of our bad attention.
TIP: Give in to Jamie's wish to be "big." "Most likely, Jamie, you won't like this halibut. Most of the time, halibut is only liked by adults." Guess what might become Jamie's new favourite food?
TIP: PROVIDE VARIOUS CHOICES AROUND MEALTIME. "Would you rather sit next to me or next to your mom?" "You can use a fork or a spoon to eat. Which do you like better?" "Do you think we'll need more potatoes, or is this enough?" "Take as much as you think you'll need to get to dinner." "Milk or juice?" "Should we eat at seven or seven thirty?"
TIP: Set a good example for others. "You know, honey, spaghetti isn't my favourite food, but I'll eat it because I know how hard you worked to make it."
TIP: GET EXPOSED. Tell Jamie to try different foods when she is young, before she knows any better. Some kids might not have thought liver was gross if someone else hadn't set their expectations that way.
TIP: Give yourself some room to move. Let's not forget that there are some foods that some kids just can't eat. If Jamie doesn't like spinach, but it's part of the meal, try to have other things for her to eat after everyone else has had their share. But this shouldn't be the norm—it should be the rare case.
Try giving Jamie sauces, dressings, syrups, or ketchup to dip her food in. It might make her like the way they taste more.
TIP: Make sure mealtimes are fun. Try not to talk about food when you are eating. Dinner is a great time to find out about Jamie's day. You could talk about what everyone has planned for the day over breakfast.
When everyone works together to make the meal, Jamie can learn an important family value. Children can also learn important thinking skills like timing, measuring, comparing, counting, and understanding cause and effect.
Don't just serve Jamie's food the same way everyone else does. Make her mashed potatoes into a volcano, cut her meat or sandwich into bite-sized pieces and stick toothpicks in them, arrange her vegetables in the shape of letters or numbers, or add a drop or two of food colouring to make it more interesting.
TIP: EAT LESS SNACKS. Children usually have to go without food for two or three hours before they are hungry enough to eat a meal. But it is hard for children to go without food from noon until 6 p.m. Jamie should be able to stay hungry until dinner with the help of a healthy snack after school.
TIP: Think about what has worked in the past. Think about the times you've seen Jamie eat. What had you been up to? Were you putting a lot of stress on the fact that she had to eat? What did she look like? What did you have to eat? What did you do before you ate? These kinds of questions might help you realise that you or Jamie are already doing some things that help her become a better eater.
