I would say that the education department is happy because the government gave them 380 million pounds to help pay for the new healthy eating plan in schools.
Hallelujah, and it's about time! Hallelujah, my foot, let's do the math. If we divide this total amount among all of them, we find that secondary schools get about £6,000 and infant schools get about £4,000.
Christ, who can do miracles, should be the one to feed the five thousand with bread and fish. Schools are places where kids learn to read and write. Now, on top of that, they are also being told what to eat.
The move to a healthier diet plan is a good step toward controlling obesity and giving kids a chance to live longer, healthier lives.
But without a miracle, how on earth can teachers get kids to choose between their favourite meals and the ones they're given?
For this change to happen, this department needs to get more money.
If there are more kinds of meals to choose from, the new menu is more likely to be a hit.
But if the government only gives out small amounts of money, this job will be hard and take a long time.
We all know how kids act when they have to do something they don't want to do. They become stubborn and start to act like, "I won't eat that no matter what you say or do." Give them time, and let them decide when they are ready to start eating healthy.
Listen up all schools.
Don't say anything when you start the new diet. Put a plate of greasy chips with a gross gravy that tastes like Bovril next to a plate of fresh pasta salad. In the young student's mind, there was no other choice. Do something like give the student some kind of reward for choosing to eat healthy, like a
10p token with the pasta meal, which tells them that when they've saved enough tokens, they'll be able to get a special treat at the end of the month.
If the child wants the meal with chips, that's fine. But trust me when I say that after they taste the gravy, no one will be like Oliver Twist and ask for more.
How does chocolate cake compare to a banana? Why don't schools adopt a monkey from a zoo? Then tell the kids that if they eat a piece of fruit before a piece of cake that will make them fat, they will be helping the adopted chimp or monkey live a good life.
It couldn't be easier to get kids to eat healthy food than to give it a lot of colour. You can do this by adding creative touches to the meal that make it look more appealing than the dish that isn't good for them.
For example, compare a plain scone to a fancy cream cake with rainbow-colored sprinkles and a bright red glazed cherry on top. From a child's point of view, the fancy cream cake with the extras wins hands down.
Now, coercion, blackmail, or whatever you want to call it, will be hard for the kids who weigh 13 stone and are six feet tall. The only way to talk to 5th or 6th form students is to tell them why they should eat well. If he or she chooses to ignore the warning signs, we have to wonder if they didn't learn anything in school. When they say that, there could be a good reason why they don't know. Which brings us back to getting money from the government. Not enough teachers to teach them how to do things?
Eat well, students, teachers, and kids, if you want to live long enough to get your pension.
