No matter how close we are to our partner or how much we like and dislike the same things, we will always do little things that "bug" our biggest fan. Too often, these kinds of personal habits aren't talked about until the middle of a fight, when they are thrown around like missiles. "Also, you always..."
Set aside time once a month or so to sit down and talk about these problems in an objective way and with a lot of good humour. This will keep tensions from rising. We tend to tell the people we love that there is nothing they do that we would change, but there is always something. By focusing on the annoying action itself, we can avoid criticising the other person as a whole or letting our emotions turn small mistakes into tornadoes.
Start with small things that don't bother you too much. Things like leaving the toilet seat up, leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor, always taking a new glass for morning juice, and leaving piles of clothes in the corner can be annoying, but they aren't things that will make or break your relationship.
See if you can figure out together how to fix each "bugs me" behaviour. Maybe one of you can agree to keep an eye on yourself and try to stay away from the activity. Maybe one of you can learn to be more flexible and let the other person have their own quirks without getting angry about it.
Make it a game to keep an eye on each other. A cue word or phrase like "mayday," "boytoy," "bingo," or "who let the dogs out?" can alert the other person in a funny, non-threatening way and keep them from getting defensive.
If two people care about each other, they will try hard not to annoy or bother each other. However, two people will never be exactly the same, so it is important to learn how to deal with each other's flaws and habits.
In our busy lives, we try to pay attention to too many things at once. We spend so much time dealing with the problems and challenges of a hard world that we forget or don't notice the small things our loved ones do for us just because they care.
So, instead of just talking about annoying habits and how to fix them, take some time to talk about what the other person has done that has made you feel great, like calling to let you know they are going to be late, bringing you coffee in bed on a Sunday morning, or how grateful you are that they took care of your son's school problems so well.
You should be able to leave your talk feeling good, knowing that fate has given you the best card in the deck: an honest, fun relationship with the best person you've ever met.
