If you are reading this article, I'm guessing that you either have a child with Cerebral Palsy or know someone who does. If you don't know what Cerebral Palsy is, I'll explain it in everyday language. It means damage to the brain. The damage can be so small that you barely notice it, or it can be very bad for your mind and body. My daughter was born with Cerebral Palsy because her intestine twisted while she was in the womb. This caused stress for both my wife and her. Before Katie was born, she had six strokes. She lost some movement on the left side of her body because of the damage.
This article now talks about how my wife and I raised her. I recently joined a website for personal growth. As I've listened to and watched some of the audios and videos, I've realised that we've been doing some of the good things taught for years. We just haven't been trained. We probably had some of these qualities, but, like you, we didn't know how to use them.
The first thing we felt was uncertainty about what would happen next. Both of us were young. But the truth is that nobody is ever ready for something like this. At first, no one told us what was wrong or what to do. We could only think that this was the worst thing that could happen. We didn't know if it was a freak accident or if it was caused by genes. How would this affect our other kids? But once the shock wore off, we saw that God had done good things for us. The average weight of the other babies in the intensive nursery was about 2 lbs. Our Katie weighted over 6 lbs. She spent 51 days in the hospital. At first, we were told that she might stay in the intensive nursery for up to six months.
My wife and I learned our first lesson about having a disabled child from the fact that we didn't know what the future held. We learned how lucky we were. We had family members who helped us get over the shock at first. I had a good job that covered almost all of my medical costs through insurance. Our baby was still alive. Until something like this happens, you really don't know how strong you are. You can only try to deal with things as they come up. "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time," said Abraham Lincoln.
Next, we learned that we had to make a promise to our child. One of my favourite Marian Wright Edelman quotes is, "You don't have to be the winner. You have to keep trying every day to do the best you can." We didn't find out she had Cerebral Palsy for almost a year. We knew there was something wrong, but we didn't know what. She wasn't doing things that babies usually do. When we found out Katie had Cerebral Palsy, my wife and I promised her that we would do whatever it took to help her live in a "normal" world. We could keep her hidden or treat her like our other kids. We decided to help her as much as we could.
You have to be willing to keep your promise once you've made it. You will be the one who takes them to the doctor. You will spend a lot of time trying to help this person. Katie didn't learn to walk on her own until she was eight. But my wife and I decide that we won't put her in a wheelchair if she can at least walk with help. They use a method called "Conductive Education" to help people. Three times, for five-week courses, we sent her to Canada. We actually held garage sales to get the money to send her and stay with her. We would have one every weekend for two to three months in different places. We told people that the money from the garage sale was going to help Katie get to camp. People used to bring us things to sell or tell us to come by and get things. You might not believe this, but when I was getting ready for the sale, I had a sixteen-foot horse trailer full of stuff. By the end of the sale, we had new things to sell. People would also sometimes give money. My wife, our family, and I were all ready to come up with the money to send her to camp. Niccolo Machiavelli said, "Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great."
The most important thing I've learned from Katie is that you should never give up. Now I know that not everyone has the same situation, but I still think it's important to set goals. I always had a feeling that she could walk. Now I knew she would walk, even if it wasn't perfect. And she can walk because of what she, my wife, other people, and I did. We also knew that, like the other kids, she needed to go to school, so we made her do what the other kids did. Everything she did took her longer. But she ended up finishing high school early and is now in college studying accounting. We are still helping her adjust. But the goal is for her to be as self-sufficient as she can be. Don't try to hide them. Try to do everything with them in mind. We took our daughter out all the time. We tried to get her to do her best in school. "Never give up and never face the facts," Ruth Gordon once said.
I think there are three things to keep in mind when dealing with a person with Cerebral Palsy or any other disability. These things can help you get through the tough times. First, remember that you have family and friends who will support and help you through hard times when you are worried about the future. If you want to help the person with a disability, you will need to make a promise and be ready to go the extra mile. And most importantly, don't give up. There will be times when you want to give up and stop trying. Step back and take a deep breath. Think about what Booker T. Washington said: "Success is not so much about where you are in life as it is about what you've done to get there." I'm sure that God never gives someone more than they can handle. God has given you a special gift if you are the parent of a child with Cerebral Palsy. He has given you a very important person. Don't worry about praying. Sometimes that may be the only thing that will help you get through hard times.
