There are a lot of books on how to talk to women on the market. Here are 5 signs that she wants to talk to you. The 33 ways to go on a date with her. The 1.5 billion ways to get a woman to like you.
I don't know about you, but when I read this kind of thing, it used to make me feel too scared to even think about using it to talk to women. Yes, I did want to know HOW to talk to women. But in reality, the problem wasn't with HOW. It took a lot of courage to do it! Overcoming the fear. My block was there.
I remember when I was 16 years old. I was in a bar with four friends in York. Sorry, did I say 16? I meant the number 18!
The music was so loud that it was almost impossible to talk (I was really old before my time). A few of my friends were dancing on the floor, but I stayed in the shadows. Pubs and clubs weren't really my thing, but I felt like I had to go often if I wanted to find a girlfriend.
Like I said, I was hanging out on the side of the dance floor, trying to look cool and casual while taking a few too many sips of my drink. Then I noticed something.
Up on the balcony, a really beautiful woman was staring right at me. You know how it is; when someone is looking at you, you just know it. I looked, our eyes met, and we had a happy ending. Er, no! Not even close.
In fact, we looked at each other, and as fast as lightning, my eyes darted away, my cheeks turned red, and I got really excited. Wow, but she was hot. And her eyes were on me!
To make a long story short, she looked at me for the next 5 minutes. I finally worked up the courage to look back, but every time she looked at me, I just couldn't help but look back at her. She finally got tired of it and moved on. I couldn't say I blamed her. I spent the rest of the night looking around to see if I could spot her while kicking myself for being such an idiot.
This didn't happen by itself either. In fact, it was like that almost every time I went out. It happened almost every weekend, and often more than once or twice a night. Sometimes more!
I finally had enough. I started to hate myself for doing it. I had to change because I was never going to find a beautiful girlfriend, let alone a partner if I couldn't even talk to the woman I wanted to date.
What did I do then?
I bought and read almost every book on dating and talking to women that I could find. And what do you know? It didn't help at all.
It wasn't that I didn't know HOW to talk to women, though. I didn't have the courage to do it. I was afraid of being turned down too much. I was afraid of what it would mean if they got bored after 5 minutes and left. Some of the women who were flirting with me were so beautiful that I didn't think I could get with anyone as pretty as them.
I didn't need 101 "methods" to get women to like me. All I had to do was get over my fear of talking to women. I needed to stop making a big deal out of this first date, but I didn't know-how.
Everything worked out in the end. I became an expert on dating and relationships in part because I was frustrated by my shyness or fear, call it what you will.
What I learned helped me get over my fears and figure out how to talk to women and enjoy it. Yes, HAVE FUN! Unbelievable!
But what did I learn that can help you get over your fear of talking to women?
Three things you can do to get rid of your fears
Here are three things you can do to start getting over your fear of approaching women.
- Give an answer to this question.
What does it mean when a girl turns you down? How do you feel about it? Most likely, your answer to this question will be something important. It could mean you're not fun or nice or that you're boring. How does that affect you? Note that it probably doesn't mean anything to people who don't mind being turned down. If you ask them the same question, they will tell you it doesn't mean anything. Can you spot the difference?
2: Fear is a warning sign.
A sign that you aren't completely ready. If you don't know at least a few goods, easy-to-say ways to start a conversation, you aren't ready enough, and you have every right to be afraid. Or, if you know that your conversational skills aren't good enough to have a fun and interesting conversation, your fears may be justified and keep you from getting hurt. What don't you know how to do in this situation? What are you going to do about it?
3: Get a basic understanding of how to flirt.
If you want to get a Ph.D. in flirting, you can learn 100 different ways to flirt. In real life, you only need to know nine of them. The nine most important. Master them, and you'll know with 90% certainty whether your plan will work or not. If you knew with 90% certainty that your approach would work every time, and you'd shown yourself that it did for a few months, would you still be afraid to talk to women? No. To learn the top flirting signs, practice recognizing them, and use them to your advantage.
Find out what the single most important sign of flirting is, as well as 5 other lessons on how to talk to women and enjoy it.
