When you listen to a customer, coworker, spouse, or significant other, your brain is constantly making hundreds of assumptions. Every word, pause, and tone of voice is understood, but not always in the way the speaker meant. Two-thirds of all employees think that management doesn't listen to them, according to research.*
We all think we can listen, right? The truth is that not many people really know how to listen. In our desire to help, we might start thinking about the answer while the other person is still talking. This takes us out of the conversation. We wait for a break in the conversation, and as soon as the person takes a breath, we jump in to help or fix the situation.
Or, we worry that we might be asked a question that we won't be able to answer well. Will we find out what happened? Will we be able to act in the right way? What if I don't know the answer to a question? What if I don't know how to answer? What if they find out I'm new on the job, on the equipment, or at this company? What if they don't like me? What if I make them mad? What if, what if, and you fill in the blank. We are not paying attention to the other person in any way.
We want to do good things. We want to give the best answer we can, which we hope is the right one. But if we aren't there, the other person feels like they aren't being heard, that they aren't important, that they are getting ripped off, etc. If there was no anger on their side before, there is a lot of it now. Fact: You can't answer the question if you aren't listening to the customer. You probably haven't even heard it, though.
Listening is the communication skill we use the least and are least good at. No matter what, people who are good at customer service are first and foremost good listeners. Active listening makes us pay attention to what the customer is saying instead of trying to figure out what to say next.
People often use the words "hear" and "listen" interchangeably, but they are not the same.
Hearing is a physical process in which your ears pick up sounds and send the information to your brain.
Listening means figuring out what the senses are telling you and what they mean.
The word "list," which comes from the word "listen," means to lean toward one side. Have you ever noticed that you lean in to talk to someone or that they do the same to you? Even when you call?
When you listen, you and the person you're talking to both wins. But it's not enough to just listen; you have to show people that you're paying attention. People don't always think you're listening, even when you are because you don't show that you are.
