We now think that it's wrong to be mean to other people in all parts of life. In the U.S., for example, we no longer have different entrances for people with different skin colours. Buildings are made to work for people with disabilities, and a recent news story said that more people have become tolerant of other people's religions.
But we could get better at learning how to treat people who are in debt with respect. I'd have to say that society looks down on debtors right now. If a debtor was on a ledge about to jump, people below would yell, "Jump!"
Most people who don't have money problems like to look at other people's debts and watch them struggle with money. It's like watching a train wreck with your hand over your eyes and cracks in your fingers. You don't want to, but you have to watch.
Imagine if suicide was like debt and when you were thinking about killing yourself, your creditors kept calling and saying things like "you're a loser" or "just do it and get rid of it." Isn't that some pretty cruel mojo? Maybe we should call the fat kid who is sad and yell "Fat, Fat" into the phone. But I don't think that would be helpful or kind at all.
So why can't we wrap our arms around people who are having money problems and treat them with care, compassion, and respect? Shouldn't. We should all.
If you've never been deep in debt, scared, unable to sleep, on the verge of an anxiety attack, and sad, it might be hard for you to imagine what life is like during those dark days. Even though some people wear masks, most of them are ashamed, unhappy, and scared on the inside.
Being in debt is the leprosy of our time. When you can't spend money the way you used to, people don't seem to be around as much, and your life seems to change in a bad way. When you have to move because you can't pay the rent, it feels like you're being sent to a leper colony. Now, you're alone for the wrong reasons.
I don't remember ever seeing a sign in someone's front yard that said, "Hi, we're so broke we can't afford to live here anymore and we're getting kicked out." I've seen more foreclosed homes with everything left behind, like wedding photos and the stuff of people who were kicked out of their homes and left on the side of the road for passersby to pick through. People leave in shame.
Debtors deserve dignity. I'm not saying that we should help everyone out in life for free. I'm just saying that people who are in debt are hurt and should be treated like anyone else who is going through a hard time or is fragile.
Being in debt is a mathematical situation that makes you feel bad. Most people who owe money don't often have trouble paying their bills. People who are in debt want to pay their bills, but they can't see how or aren't ready emotionally to make the hard changes they need to make to meet their new responsibilities.
You are not a bad person if you are not ready or willing to make changes to make the numbers work. It just makes you look like someone who doesn't want to make hard decisions right then.
When you're in debt, you have to deal with depression, hopelessness, and loneliness. I'm not saying all people who owe money feel this way, but most do. When you have a lot of debt, your self-worth and confidence go down. It's about not being able to make a plan, stick to it, and follow through on it.
The emotional pain of being in debt takes away our dignity, and the rest of society doesn't do much to help soften the blow and make the journey easier for the debtor.
People who owe money lose. Debtors are not good enough. People who owe money lie. The debtor fails. People say all of these things every day, even though none of them are true. Instead, they are like the cruel taunts of a schoolyard bully that leave permanent scars on weak minds.
Debtors do have a responsibility to find a way out of the pain and misery they are in. But asking someone with a bad back to run a marathon isn't always a good idea. It's possible, but only if people help and back it up.
Being in debt is a thing, but being a debtor is a personal thing, and people who are in debt deserve to be treated with respect and kindness as they work toward a solution.
