European negotiators wanted to reach a peaceful agreement with Iran about its controversial nuclear programme, so they used a strategy that has become the most effective way to get a response in much of the Muslim world in recent years.
The Europeans decided to include a cartoon in their latest proposal that shows bombs falling on Iranian nuclear facilities because of the strong reaction to Danish cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad and the protests by an Iranian Turkish minority last week over a new cartoon they think shows them in a bad light.
The French person brought up the explosive cartoon at the next meeting with the usually happy but sometimes rude Iranian nuclear negotiator.
The Iranian negotiator sat back and said, "This cartoon is upsetting. Is that meant to be a clue?"
"I'm afraid that's the case," the British negotiator said.
"Mind if I get out of here?" he asked for. "I have to tell our President about this!"
Then he ran to call Iran with his Koran.
"What? Another cartoon from the West that makes fun of Muslims? The President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, blew up. "Wait until I report this to the powerful mullahs! Send it to me right away by email!"
When the obedient Ahmadinejad got it, he quickly printed it out and ran from mullah to mullah, as he often does, smiling and showing the cartoon to them.
"What? A cartoon that shows the destruction of our holy nuclear plants?" The mullah at the top of the Muslim menagerie's official order gasped.
"That seems to be the case," said the President. "What do you suggest?
"If the people of Iran hear about this," said the wise cleric, "they might realise how dangerous our policies are making them."
Ahmadinejad agreed, "We don't want that to happen."
"No, no, don't forget that you shouldn't trust the average Iranian. In our great knowledge, we haven't given them enough education. So that they could betray us."
"But if the bombs go off, they might think there's something else going on," the President was brave enough to say.
The mullah wondered, "What will happen if our own military finds out about the cartoon?" "They might also think we're putting them in danger for no reason."
"And try to save their own lives before it's too late," President Ahmadinejad said. "That is, I'm sorry to say, they could try to take over."
"It looks like we have to answer the cartoon, whether we like it or not," the mullah thought.
"Or, if you'll let me be honest, we could all just disappear."
The cleric said, "No, no, my turban could fly off, and I can't have that." "It's not for nothing that every child is born with one. This is how Allah tells us to always wear one." Then he thought, "Anyway, after all these years, I've forgotten what the top of my head looks like, and I don't know how I'd feel if I saw myself without it."
"But I've defended our nuclear programme so much, I could really use a way to save face," Ahmadinejad said.
"It's fine," said the mullah. "What if we draw a cartoon of you handing an atomic bomb to the Europeans with a big smile on your face to show how sorry you are? Like, "They tell a joke, and then we tell one back?"
"I like it. I've always wanted to be in a cartoon of my own."
"Yes, you can. You're not Muhammad, after all."
"Where can I find a cartoon, though?" President Amadinejad wondered. "Our most famous cartoonist just went to jail for insulting the Turkish minority."
The cleric thought about the problem for a while, and then an idea grew under his dark hair. "Tell him that we'll let him out of jail if he draws it."
The President said, "Your Excellency, you are so wise." "Right now, I'll call the jail."
"No, no, you should go in person," said the mullah. "Then he can draw the cartoon while you're there "from life," as artists who don't believe in God say."
"Again, right. I'm going to jail." He stood up and said, "Allah be praised!" as he hurried away. It's one thing to be the President. But Muhammad couldn't say that he was in a cartoon!
"Excuse me," the mullah said, surprised by the reference to Muhammad, and he pointed at Ahmadinejad and said, "Come here." "You don't get it, Mahmoud. If you'll forgive my advice, everything about how you act is like a cartoon. Be more serious, like me." Then, he pointed to his favourite turban and said, "By the way, you should start wearing one of these sweaty delights."
