Getting a raise is almost like finding new ways to save money on almost everything you buy. Maybe it's even better. When you spend less than $20 on a coat, you get to keep the whole $20. When your paycheck goes up by twenty dollars, you lose five or more of those dollars to taxes.
Saving money can get out of hand, though. In a recent newsletter about how to save money, one contributor suggested getting free flowers for weddings by picking up the flowers left over at a cemetery. She didn't explain how to tell which things are "leftovers."
I thought I was being frugal. Here are some real ways to save money that people have sent to "frugality" websites and newsletters. Some cheapskates don't seem to realise that working an extra hour could make them better off than saving money for many hours.
Don't try these ways to save money at home.
A mother admitted that every time they go to a fast food restaurant, she makes her kids fill their pockets with the free packets of ketchup, salt, and other condiments. Oh, I wish that was it, but it's not. She also has the kids squeeze the contents of the packets into regular jars of ketchup and mustard. She says it's been years since she bought these things. You can find pride in strange places.
One person who likes to save money came up with a way to save money on car washes. At the gas station, he uses the squeegee to wash his whole car. I wonder if he also takes the rolls of toilet paper from their bathrooms.
Do you want to get a free umbrella? One person says that you can get one from the lost and found section of any big public library. Just say that you lost a black umbrella. They will probably have more than one, and you can pick the best one and say it's yours. What if they only have white umbrellas? I guess we'll have to wait until this guy puts out a "lost umbrella colour frequency chart" to know what colour to try the next day.
A few of the people who write for these newsletters know how to save money on their long-distance phone bills. Most people say to call people from far away when you know they won't be home and leave a message. Then, when you call them back, they have to pay for it. I guess if you call at the wrong time and they answer, you can just hang up and try again later.
Even if you want to save money, I don't think any of these are good ideas. Aside from the moral problems with some of them, they can be grouped with washing and reusing plastic wrap as a way to save money that wastes time. On the other hand, they are fun to read, and I guess we could also think of them as cheap ways to have fun. You could turn off the lights to save money on electricity and tell the kids it's a game of hide-and-seek, or you could teach your dog to beg from the neighbours so you don't have to feed him.
I wonder how many people pay for newsletters and magazines that tell us how to save money. Do these magazines tell people who want to read them to go to the library or stand in the aisle of a bookstore for an hour? There are no doubts about these ways to save money.
